As a cosmic wonder, Monday’s total solar eclipse lived up to the hype. As a beacon that would bring swarms of tourists that burst the capacity of Arkansas, not so much.

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Never one to pass up shooting fish in a barrel, Charles Pierce takes aim in Esquire today (paywalled) at Gov. Sarah Sanders:

Nice job on Monday, moon. Seriously well-orbited. I’d like to apologize on behalf of all American humans for the state of Arkansas, the governor of which did not appreciate your efforts. …

My advice to the governor’s staff is to check on the condition of that $19,000 podium that Sanders bought. I consider the possibility that she cut up a goat to appease Apollo to be nonzero.

Arkansas was in (cue ominous organ music) The Path Of Totality, and both Arkansans and road-tripping non-Arkansans seem to have been quite excited over the whole thing. Except, of course, for Governor No Fun of Any Kind. And a 14-day emergency for a 30-minute event? Presumably that’s to cope with the locusts, the frogs, and the day that the Arkansas River turns to blood. You have to think ahead when you’re the governor.

As part of the emergency declaration, the governor released $100,000 to assist with the state’s response.

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Hopefully one of her buddies has a side business that offers a package deal on five $20,000 disaster-preparedness kits, redeemable as coupons for Paris getaways.