1) The Little Rock Zoo recently welcomed three animals to the zoo. What are the critters?
A) Common Trumpian
B) Pulaski County Snitches.
C) One-humped dromedary camels.
D) Lesser Kardashians.
2) Recently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee resigned his position with a certain board only one day after joining. What was the board from which the Huckster resigned?
A) Weight Watchers.
B) Sarah Huckabee Sanders Fan Club.
C) Assholes Anonymous.
3) Why did Huckabee resign?
A) Told a “joke” to a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
B) Screwed up and let someone hear him play bass.
C) All hat, no cattle.
D) Widespread criticism due to his divisive, homophobic rhetoric, including a note to the CMA from Jason Owen — a gay husband and father who represents big names like Little Big Town and Faith Hill — who called Huckabee’s appointment “grossly offensive” and said he and the artists he represents would no longer support the CMA Foundation as long as Huckabee was on the board.
4) A man who police say tried to flee from a traffic stop in Little Rock went with a rather foolhardy method to evade the long arm of the law. What, according to police, did he do?
A) Disguised himself as a potted plant and attempted to hide in a dentist’s office.
B) Quickly painted a faux tunnel entrance on a brick wall and then dashed into it, Wile E. Coyote style.
C) Doubled back and tried to steal the officer’s police horse.
D) Leapt from the second story of the downtown parking garage, landing with a mighty splat on the concrete below and injuring himself badly enough that he wound up in critical condition at a local hospital.
5) The University of Arkansas at Fayetteville recently held a town hall-style meeting to address an outcry after a UA freshman posted an offensive photo
A) The white student in Al Jolson-style blackface
B) A greased-up Donald Trump chasing a porn star through a KFC restaurant.
C) Bret Bielema rolling around
D) Razorback mascot Tusk snorting crystal meth off a toilet tank lid.