1) While many school districts across the state encouraged participation in the 17-minute student walkout on March 14 to protest gun violence, other school districts in the state clearly flunked the pop quiz on this teaching moment about peaceful protest. Which of the following were consequences for brave students around the state who joined in the protests?

A) Bentonville West High School student Summerlin Hutson was suspended for two days for distributing flyers about the protest.

Advertisement

B) The Bentonville School Board voted that any student who left class to protest would be given detention, but several hundred students walked out anyway.

C) Greenbrier High paddled three students who walked out, with word of the school administrators’ despicable retaliation against peaceful protestors soon being picked up by news outlets worldwide.

Advertisement

D) All of the above.

2) The ACLU of Arkansas has condemned something planned for the junior and senior high schools in Magnolia (Columbia County) as “unproven, costly and intrusive.” What is it?

Advertisement

A) The idea that adults bending over pre-teen and teenage girls and boys and spanking them with a wooden paddle to “discipline” them isn’t weird as hell.

B) Clear Plexiglas bathroom stalls, to allow school administrators to monitor for “transgenders and such.”

C) A staging of “Jason Rapert: The Musical.”

D) A $300,000 project to install a “biometric surveillance system” consisting of more than 200 security cameras with infrared monitoring, motion detection and facial recognition technology, which the ACLU says will not only be vulnerable to hacking and abuse, but will monitor students at the school “like prisoners in a detention facility.”

Advertisement

3) Governor Hutchinson recently revealed a plan that he said will lead to a “transformation” of state government. What is it?

A) Outsourcing all state government functions to sweatshops in Thailand.

B) Thong Thursdays.

C) Paddlings for employees who need discipline, harder paddlings for those who enjoy it.

D) Cutting the existing number of state departments in half, to about 20.

4) The Arkansas Supreme Court recently made a ruling that likely didn’t sit well with the city of Jacksonville. What was it?

A) It ruled that strip club buffets are a public health hazard.

B) It declared the paddling of schoolchildren to be a “cruel, unusual, and super, super weird” form of punishment.

C) It upheld a lower court ruling that said Jacksonville Police Chief Geoffery Herweg is ineligible to serve in that position because of a 2002 misdemeanor charge of leaving the scene of an accident.

Advertisement

D) It awarded arch-rival Cabot all the clandestine brothels in the two cities’ recent divorce proceedings.

5) The prime suspect in a string of recent snatch-and-grab robberies of Little Rock area stores — including an incident in which police say a clerk at The Promenade at Chenal store was pepper-sprayed — will likely be easy to catch. Why are police confident they’ll have the suspect in custody soon?

A) She stopped for selfies with the Easter Bunny on the way out of McCain Mall.

B) Police say that after attempting to steal $470 in clothing from the Tommy Hilfiger store at the Outlets of Little Rock, she dropped her I.D. while fleeing.

C) At a recent crime scene, she left behind a flyer for Greenbrier High’s upcoming “Official School Paddler for a Day!” raffle, which has been swamped with inquiries from online pervs.

D) The suspect is Ivanka Trump, taking a break from the mass fleecing of the American public to pull a cross-country crime spree.