1) A company recently announced it will build a 28,000-square-foot structure in Hot Springs, which, if completed, will be home to the first major tourist attraction built in the Spa City in quite some time. What’s the attraction?
A) A display of the surgically removed warts, moles and bunions of the rich and famous.
B) The Museum of Modern Fart.
C) A “reptile garden” displaying alligators, crocodiles and venomous and nonvenomous snakes, with the complex including a gift shop, research library, bar and “Gator Lounge.”
D) The Chewseum of Chaw, Dip and Snuff, sponsored by Red Man Chewing Tobacco (BYOS: Bring Your Own Spittoon).
2) A popular reality TV show has been airing episodes derived from footage filmed in Little Rock in late August. What’s the show?
A) “America’s Next Top Waddle.”
B) “Disregarding Consent with the Stars.”
C) “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives,” hosted by Guy Fieri.
D) “The Real Housewives of Rolling Acres Mobile Home Park.”
3) A Little Rock man was recently arrested for attacking a 2-year-old child, leaving the boy battered and bruised. According to the boy’s mother, why did Jeremy Richards, 32, of Little Rock allegedly say he hit the child?
A) The boy was “wasting Kool-Aid.”
B) No, seriously. Allegedly attacked a toddler over a 15-cent packet of flavored dust, two cups of sugar and a gallon of tap water.
C) According to a police report in the case, Richards also told the boy’s mother he would break the child’s arm if he ever wasted Kool-Aid again.
D) All of the above, with Richards going to the hoosegow on charges of second-degree domestic battery.
4) After calling police to a home he was working on along Little Rock’s Abigail Street, a man later called police again with an important addendum to his earlier report. What issue required calling 911 x 2?
A) While working in the attic, he found plane tickets to Mexico, $100,000 in pesos, and an ID and passport for someone named Donaldo Juan Trumpo Jr. in an envelope marked “Open only in case of indictment.”
B) He forgot to give back the cop’s pen.
C) After telling responding officers that he’d heard gunfire in the area, the man called them back to say he noticed a bullet lodged in his lower leg.
D) He reported that his home hadn’t been burglarized in three whole months — a new citywide record!
5) A scientific study recently published in a prestigious national journal predicts that global warming will cause something to be much more frequent in Arkansas over the next 100 years. What is it?
A) Cats with double-barrel buttholes.
B) Hipster Beard Fungus.
C) Tornadoes, with the study predicting that Arkansas will be among several Southern states to see an uptick in stronger and more frequent twisters.
D) Brodudes who say “100 percent!” when they mean “of course!” or “absolutely!”