Nobody’s as tough as they think they are.

It’s just a simple word, yet it is enough to take your breath away, and leave you standing in the corner of the room, arms folded, wishing the walls might close in and swallow you up.

Symptoms I could no longer ignore, including an increasing exhaustion (too tired on many days to check email or even write, hence the lack of many blog posts of late) led me to to schedule a visit to a specialist.

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All seemed to be going well in the exam until he discovered something he didn’t particularly care for, and he uttered the “B” word.

Biopsy.

Shit.

A wind that came out of nowhere drove me back, back, until I was leaning against the far wall of the office, listening to the conversation. Not quite numb, but my mind agog with all sorts of possibilities.

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The he showed me the instrument he would use to use during the biopsy, something that any kidnapping alien would give their right arm for.

“With that?” I asked. “I haven’t just spent the last ten years in prison!”

Yes, I’m a big baby.

Yesterday they drew blood, one of my favorite leisure-time activities. In two weeks I come back for the biopsy, and learn the results a week later.

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I am in better spirits today than yesterday, though the mind still works overtime. But as I left the medical building yesterday, my one thought was:

An enema! You’ve got to be kidding! That’s just insane . . .

******

Quote of the Day

You never know how tough you are till somebody knocks you down and you decide whether you wanna get yourself up or not. – Sugar Ray Robinson, former middle-weight champion of the world

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rsdrake@cox.net

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