“The Doctor needs you to come in to talk about the results of your thyroid ultrasound.” I paused and said, “Well, that never sounds good.” She answered simply, “No.”

As I replaced the phone on the receiver, I thought to myself, well, that conversation could have gone better.


Readers may have noticed that my output hasn’t been what it should be of late. I always thought that nothing would prevent me from getting to the keyboard, but exhaustion can.

And other crap, as well, but I won’t bore you with any details.


So you spend a few sleepless nights, a little too much time thinking about eternity, until finally, you go, oh, screw it, and wait out the days till your appointment.

Tracy went with me to the doctor’s that day, and the first thing I noticed was that his nurse was wearing a black dress.


Okay, not being paranoid.

She said, “You’ve put on a couple of pounds since your last visit.” then she asked, “Been thinking about your test results?”

“Well, yeah,” was my eloquent response.

“Yeah,” the woman in black agreed. But hey, no paranoia here, right?


The Doctor wasn’t his usual cheery self as he came in the room. Well aware of my vow to stay off the operating table for the rest of my life, he explained about my test results.

Seems I have a growth on my thyroid, and no, they couldn’t just treat it with medication. Under the knife again, as they say.

Sucks to be me, I thought.

Even given my fear that some scalpel wielding pirate in the operating room is going to do me in one day, the news wasn’t all bad. What I have is probably just a collection of flotsam and jetsam which has built up over the years.

And if it is cancer, well, they can just get rid of it on the spot.

Go to your doctor get stuff checked out, even if it means some scalpel wielding pirate is going to have you at their mercy in the operating room.

Long-time readers know that I write about my personal life as much as politics and social issues, so I’ll keep everyone informed as to my progress – but not so much that I’ll bore you. And try to bear with me, if my output isn’t what it should be for a little while yet.

I cannot emphasize enough that I am not, not, NOT writing this in an attempt to elicit sympathy or get well wishes. If you want to make me feel better, just say, “Dude! Nice piece of writing!”

Cuz, you know, that gets me every time.



Tonight’s Soundtrack

It’s all smoke and mirrors tonight, Umpteenth Reader, as I write while listening to Philip Glass’s score for “The Illusionist.”


Now on Youtube – Jed Clampit: The Power of Song

A collection of songs my friend Jed Clampit has performed in the studio over the years.



Quote of the Day

In hard times, libraries are more important than ever. Human beings need what books give them better than any other medium. Since ancient nights around prehistoric campfires, we have needed myth. And heroes. And moral tales. And information about the world beyond the nearest mountains or oceans. – Pete Hamill